I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
