Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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