Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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