Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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