at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
