I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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