I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
