just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
