Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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