Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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