if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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