id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
