AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
