The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize