How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
