Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
