Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
