My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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