my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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