I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
my shit smells like andre
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
