Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
