When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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