I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
