i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
