We're facebook friends in real life
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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