I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
