Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
