I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
