let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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