i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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