Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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