id be glad to
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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