Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
