that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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