Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
