Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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