if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
