I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Who died my cat blue again?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
