So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize