apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
