I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
