is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You have to summon your inner elephant
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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