loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
