he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
