dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
