Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
