Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
