butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
