My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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