Redeem this text for a blowjob
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize