Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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