trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize