The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
