try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
