YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
