My friends, they love my intelligence
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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