if you like me you must not know who I am
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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