Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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