I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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