Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
