I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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