yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
