I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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