ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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