yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
