We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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